{7} Healthy Eating

Eating right sounds so easy, though when you get down to it, its about willpower. I have been struggling with being an overeater my whole life. Though, as you probably read from a previous post that I am putting an end to that. Lately when I want a snack I reach for the carrots, or some other easy to snack on food. Baby carrots come in the right size bag that I can split up into a few tupperware dishes, so that my son knows he can have some, and I can just pull one out and eat it.

Eating vegetables all day makes me feel better, and to be completely honest I noticed my skin looks better. I am trying to counteract the aging of my skin that the cigarettes cause. Since I refuse to quit smoking, I have to do something to stay looking young and beautiful!

I have started to worry about the future of my body rather than living in the moment. I usually just say, I'll start my diet tomorrow. Though, tomorrow has come and gone many times over. Right now, I just need to do. So, I started keeping track of my food that I eat on this website called Calorie Count. It is pretty cool, you can input activities you do, and the foods you eat. It calculates it all for you. I like that you can also keep track of the water you drink. Fitday, had an option to add up the calories you eat and the calories you burn, but you couldn't keep track of water. Well, there was a thing to do it but I could never get it to work.

Anyhow, there is a monkey jumping on the couch after he was told not to, I must go.

{6} Gardening and Partying

What was left of my stamp after the bar last night. :D

I am a failure at gardening. I have watered my mother's garden every other day as per the water schedule, and they all look so sad and wimpy. Like the vegetable garden especially, the flowers are just beautiful. Though, perhaps I should have been watering the vegetables every day against the water rationing thingy. Either way, I do not intend on having a garden for a while...

Nathanial and I have been staying out here for the week. Eating my mom's food, using her internet, washing my laundry, cleaning her house. I sort of miss it. I really miss it actually. I miss being able to just not worry.

I am trying to get my son into preschool, and trying to get all the paperwork into my apartment people on time. Ugh! This life I live sometimes. I really need to get a job, and I am working on it. Though, with almost a year gap in my job history, excluding Taco John's, it is hard to find employment. Taco John's sucked because they wouldn't schedule me less than 45 hours, and I would walk home with a paycheck that was 35 or less hours because of all the breaks they made me take. Anyway, I am getting out there doing this for myself.

Last night I went out. I partied like I haven't partied in a long time. My sister was there and our friend, and many of her friends. It was pretty cool. I felt like an adult. Being an adult sometimes feels pretty good.

On a separate note, I lost 10 lbs since I have been out at my mom's, probably all the walking to the park and gardening. I also have been like getting up in the morning and spending time to make myself look good. I feel that for a long time I hadn't even cared, and now is definitely the time to care. I am going to be 24 in September, and frankly I do not want to be 24 but that is how it is. I am going to pretend like it's my 21st and party like a fucking rockstar!

I think it will be a weekly thing going to the bar on Thursday with my sister. She said she would do it with me. I am excited to have that to look forward to. It will be great when I get a job, then I can treat her to drinks the way she does to me.

I feel that I often forget to let my sister know how much I appreciate her. I really do. She gives me gas whenever she has money, and buys me cigarettes. She lets me swim in her pool and hangs out with me. I love my sister, she is probably my very best friend.

With that, I need to go fold some laundry.

{5} Saying No to Sickness

Life happened again, and now I have to get back on track with my eating. I have been working on not eating dairy, it makes my face puffy and my stomach hurt.

We went camping a few weeks ago, and I forgot that Dorito Nacho Cheese flavor has gluten in it, no wonder why I was so sick. Then the next week we went again, and I was sick again. I am just tired of being sick.

I feel like I miss out on my son's life because I get sick and don't have patience. So, I have decided that the time for being sick, is over. I will be there for him, because I won't be sick.

I am really excited to turn my life around. I feel much better, I haven't eaten dairy in days and I am content with that. Food doesn't really need cheese and wheat to make it taste good. Its more a matter of changing your taste a little, and turning more to spices than I ever thought it would be. Today I ate an egg, a plain egg. It was actually a lot better than I would have admitted before I gave up dairy.

Now it is a matter of resisting temptation and moving forward. If I have some Lactaid, yeah I'd eat dairy. Though since I don't have any right now, I am just not going to do it.

The gluten one was really hard to give up at first, but even now. I struggle with it. I am a food person. I love food. I love to eat. That is my biggest problem. So, I am throwing out the problems and starting a journey to a healthy body. I feel that once I get my body healthy, maybe my mind will follow. I might prove to myself that I am stronger than I ever thought I could be. I mean, I've only drank the tiniest bit of soda in the last week. I will keep that up, soda makes my eyes not want to open in the morning and my body ache all day long.

Well, that is all for now.

{4} This weekend I went camping…

If you look closely you can see butterflies around the tree.

The weather was great and despite my reservations the campsite was absolutely as I remembered it. From the butterfly city in the tree tops down to the little ant city on the picnic table. Usually when I camp with my mother we end up at each other’s throats, thought I was determined to make this time different. My son was so excited to be camping with me, since he usually goes with my mother and step-father alone. I will admit I was extremely pumped up for it also.

The tent.

A brand new orange tent, two borrowed sleeping bags, and an aged ratty old mattress all set up to be our shelter for the night. Anyhow, I spent all of the day reading. Mom and Greg stayed down at the creek in their chairs. Meanwhile Nate ran back and forth stirring up a whirlwind of chaos and destruction. Perhaps that is an exaggeration, he wasn’t all that bad.

The teeny tiny fire

The night was really chilly and frankly all I wanted to do was go home and take a hot bath. Seeing as I was in the middle of a pay-to-stay campground 40 minutes away from my town, without my car I had to just suck it up and deal with it. The problem was that I went camping with my parents and not my Prometheus reincarnate brother. The fire didn’t happen until it was so close to full dark I had already donned my sweatshirt and a blanket.

I had planned on an awesome photo adventure. Sure enough not thirty paces in my damn camera battery died. I did however manage to get some great shots of the beloved creek from my childhood. 

This shot is the last I took before the camera died.

The moon still visible before the sun broke free all the way.

The book that I read started out a lot like several different stories. It was like a combination between Hush, Hush and Pretty Little Liars. Though once I got through the extended prologue, it actually turned out to be quite original and fairly well written. Who am I to judge though, I have yet to complete a novel worth selling. My prior two were terrible disasters. I got the Wal*Mart one where it has more than one story in a book, and I have not finished the second one. When I do, I will write a review.

{3} Photos and Links!

First I will present to you some photos of the randomness that I call life. Not sure why some of these things were important enough to photograph, but they were so here they are. My son has a really kick ass mohawk. He wants to be like my brother.

My fridge as it looks right now.

My son's awesome hair.

Me and my son.

Teaching my kid how to play chess.

"Woody was too hot. He needs to cool off."

Did my hair in a bow.

Magnets I made.

Now for the links! Higherthoughts.com linked you to my profile. Weheartit.com also linked to my profile. My Tumblr. Definitely working on a social networking page with all of my links but I thought I would share some of them right now.

Much love everyone!!!

{2} Awkward.

Lately my obsession has been this MTV teen show, Awkward. It reminds me of all the things I loved and all the things I hated about high school. I tend to live a little too much in the past at times, and I find that it is just better to watch a show about people in high school than try to live like we did in high school.

I like how it starts out. The accident mistaken for suicide thing, though I think she is overly paranoid about it later. I am enamored with the cast, and the fact that there are two male love interests. One who starts out with a girlfriend, and one who doesn't seem to want it to be public knowledge that he likes her. Her mother doesn't seem to be very mature, which is understandable considering she had had Jenna when she was seventeen.

I just don't know how I feel about the whole thing where she thinks her mom wrote the care frontation. I would NEVER do that to any of my children.I would call her out on it sooner than Jenna did.

I just thought I would share this with you. As I watch more of the back episodes, I will maybe write more. We'll see. Thank you for reading! Have a good night.

{1} New Life to Lacie

Seven days ago I ended a relationship of one-year-two-months-nine-days via text message. There is a story in all of that, more on that later. Though, I figured that with the new life I would create a new blog. A blog about not giving a fuck.

So here is my ever growing list of things I want to do before I get another boyfriend.

1. Lose weight.
2. Travel, visit five cities I've never been to.
3. Find out my son's dad.
4. Stay good in school, nothing below a C.
5. Gain Employment
6. Fix the car with my own hands.
7. Gain 100 followers on my photography blog, or my craft blog.
8. Make money from my hats.
9. Gain a business license for photography, and the hats.
10. Make $500-$1000 from my photography.
11. Visit Hollywood.
12. Spend a month living on the road, travelling, living in motels eating crap food.
13. Start a Vlog.
14. Make a dress.
15. Patch an awesome jacket.
16. Get 5 new tattoos.
17. Spend up to two weeks camping total (this summer)
18. Practice more awareness of my personal fashion.
19. Tumble more...(my tumblr)
20. Have more fun.
21. Write a book
22. Finish a scrapbook.
23. Finish my son's baby book. (He's four!)
24. Make a gluten-free cook book.
25. Completely remove dairy from my diet, (being sick just isn't any fun)

So far that is all though when I add more in my journal I will post it. I have added things to it so much since I started it.

The thing I like about being single is that I get to spend a lot more time with my son. I don't have to hear how I am being judged with the way my son acts and the way I parent. It is nice. We have been such better friends since the breakup.

So, about the whole text message breakup thing. I kept texting him telling him that it was important that we talk. Calling him, half the time he didn't even answer. So then about two weeks after I had made up my mind, I just was texting him and said that we were broken up. Though apparently he was confused because since the breakup he was being all clingy and still calling me "baby." It was really awkward and weird.

I am not the kind of person to do a text message break up. I feel awful that, that is how it had to happen. Though I felt trapped without any air or a way out. So when I found one I took it. 

Since the breakup my car has become clean, my house is cleaner. Life is just better. I am looking for a job and in the meantime supplementing my income by selling crochet hats, click here for my etsy. Life is such a blessing and we all need to embrace it.

Sometimes, though it seems harder to embrace the way we feel about things. I am struggling with some things  right now that I am not going to mention. Once they get resolved maybe I will talk about it. Though for now... they will stay trapped in my mind. 

Anyways, this is an adequate length for a first post. Thank you all for reading! I hope to see some followers! I'll follow anyone back who follows me.